‘Don’t go on vacation. Your wife has invited her boyfriend as well’

By Amit Kumar

Meet me outside the Whitefield police station at 4 pm,” the man said in a quivering voice. He and his wife are being e-stalked for the past two months so the anxiety was understandable.

Till 5.45 pm, there was no sign of Anand (name changed). And finally when he did arrive, he first went inside the police station.

“My wife said you could be the stalker. She asked me to verify your identity first,” he said as he shook hands with this correspondent. “I will speak to you only on one condition – that in no way would my identity or my wife’s profession be revealed.” Agreed.

“I am under severe trauma. Initially, we thought someone was playing a practical joke,” Anand said, referring to the emails that he had been getting. He had agreed to meet this Bangalore Mirror correspondent after he had filed a complaint with the Whitefield police station on August 14.

In the first week of July, his wife Aishwarya (name changed) had received the first email. “I know you are having an affair with so many people. What if your husband gets to know about this,” the sender had asked, sending Aishwarya into a deep shock. She did not know who the sender was as it was from an unknown ID. Two days later, she received a similar mail -- this time a more abusive one – from another ID.

“You are roaming around with more than 10 guys,” it read, and called her a name. After that, similar mails kept popping up in her inbox – from different IDs -- almost every day.

When the mails – or the abuse – didn’t stop, Aishwarya told Anand about it and both initially thought that someone was out to get cheap thrills. After a few days, even Anand started getting such emails about his wife – clearly the sender knew both of them.

“I don’t suspect anybody but at the same time I suspect everybody,” he said when asked if he knew who was behind the string of emails. He was getting emails like “Your wife is sleeping with other guys behind your back but you are not able to see it” or ones that said “you should be ashamed of yourself” – basically someone wanted to drive a wedge between the two.

“Then I realised that if this man could send such emails, he could even enter my house and harm my wife or nine-year-old son,” he said, with a smattering of Hindi in his English sentences.

Anand and his wife, like many ‘outsiders’ in Bengaluru, have become victims of the ever-increasing gang of perverts. Women living in paying guest accommodations – which have poor security and are viewed as easy pickings for lecherous, lascivious men – have often become victims (in 2017, police arrested Shivarama Reddy from Outer Ring Road; he had sexually molested at least 16 women on knife-point inside their rooms). So have those who look for jobs (BM had reported how some men take down telephone numbers of candidates from guest entry registers and stalk them). Bengaluru also has the highest number of cyber-crimes (over 6,000 cases have been registered till now).


DCP (Crime) Ravikumar acknowledged that women were an easy target and that it was a growing menace. “Women should not accept friend requests from strangers. These people try to emotionally blackmail girls after befriending them. We keep creating awareness but still some women become victims of such people.”

In Aishwarya’s case, however, there was no friend request or cold call. Her e-stalker is “smart and one step ahead of us,” Anand said. The English used in the emails is ‘decent’. The stalker has started mentioning about their nine-year-old son in his emails and Anand is really worried. The stalker even knows what time the family steps out.

On August 8, the stalker wrote at 8.48 am: “I think you guys are going on vacation. Just want to inform you that your wife has called her boyfriend also on this vacation along with you. Whenever she gets time to enjoy with him there, she will do so. I think it is ridiculous for you to be going on a vacation with your wife and her boyfriend.” The stalker claimed to be Anand’s “well-wisher”. When Anand and his family proceeded on the vacation as planned, he got another email from the same sender: “Shameless fellow, you are going on vacation. I told you as your wife’s boyfriend is also going with you. Hopefully, he will also enjoy behind your back with your wife in hotel.” The man even issued a veiled warning: “Nowadays anything can happen. You are now out of Bangalore and maybe something happens at your house. Nowadays, security is also not good.”

Next morning, Anand received a similar email; this time from a “woman’s account”. The “woman” also called him a shameless fellow. Twelve hours later, he received another email from the same woman. “Shame on you. Just kick your own ass.”

The emails left Anand worried. How did the stalker know that he was going on vacation with his family?

An FIR has been registered under sections 354 (monitors the use by a woman of the internet, mail or any other form of electronic communication and commits the offense of stalking), 507 (criminal intimidation by an anonymous communication), 509 (word, gesture or act intended to insult the modesty of a woman). An official said that the emails had been sent to cybercrime officials to trace the sender’s address and investigations were underway.

Aishwarya told Bangalore Mirror: “That anonymous person sent vulgar mails to me casting aspersions on my character. He used filthy and abusive words. We never let our son get out of sight after he threatened to harm my son. Somebody known to me or my husband is behind this. I’m more scared for my husband and child.”

Anand and Aishwarya, like the thousands of ‘outsiders’ in Bengaluru, are from Delhi and have been living here for 10 years. Anand works for a tech company and says he has “circle of friends” in the city.

“Maybe somebody is jealous of our success,” Anand said, trying to dissipate some of the tension as he left around 7 pm – and kept checking his rear view mirror as he rode.