Abuse survivors find healing in art and shared experiences

Patrick Anderson
Argus Leader

The first time Melissa Weideman shared her personal story of abuse, she was so nervous her eyes never left her notes.

She stared down, never looking up, sharing with strangers her memories of a time that is still a source of trauma and mental anguish, about an ex-boyfriend who took advantage of her paraplegia to force sex and commit acts of violence.

When she finished, she looked up at the crowd. And she realized she wasn’t alone.

“To see the standing ovation I got and the tears of the people listening to me,” Weideman. “It meant the world to me.”

Weideman is one of the people who will gather at Vishnu Bunny Tattoo in downtown Sioux Falls from 8-10 p.m. Feb. 22 to share their experiences with domestic abuse.

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Melissa Weideman (center, front) poses for a group picture after her first time sharing her story with other members of un-Defined, a Sioux Falls group for survivors of domestic abuse.

Finding Our Voices is a touring art exhibit for abuse survivors to tell their story or share work inspired by their healing process, said Krissa Timmer, one of the event’s organizers.

Timmer founded the Sioux Falls-based abuse survivor’s group unDefined, which doesn’t provide crisis care but acts as a uniting force for people with shared experiences.

“It’s more of a peer support and peer mentoring,” Timmer said. “It’s just an avenue for survivors to kind of connect.”

Finding Our Voices also hosted an exhibit at the University of Sioux Falls in November and after the Vishnu event is scheduled to return in April at First Congregational Church.

Pieces by Kristine Reiner and Sandra Jeanne T. are part of the "Finding Our Voices" traveling art exhibit at the Third Eye Gallery in Vishnu Bunny Tattoo & Piercing Tuesday, Feb. 19, in Sioux Falls. Un-Defined, a support group for survivors of domestic abuse, is holding a public event at Vishnu Bunny Friday.

Weideman’s anger surged when the momentum of the #MeToo was cresting a couple of years ago.

Even after going through counseling, even remarrying and gaining full custody of her son, she was still coping with the trauma of years-old abusive relationship.

Returning to treatment has helped. And so has speaking. Weideman hopes it helps open new doors for other survivors.

“Some people come to these events that have a past but haven’t had the courage to talk about it yet,” she said. “It’s like the best feeling in the world.”

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