3 words no parent wants to hear: 'Baby Shark Live!' And it's swimming to Mesa in October

Scott Craven
The Republic | azcentral.com

Arizona parents, the “Jaws” theme you’re hearing isn’t in your mind.

Well, it is in your mind, but there’s a good reason for it. "Baby Shark Live!" is coming to the Mesa Arts Center, surfacing on Oct. 18. Just when you thought it was safe to go back to musical theater.

Pre-sale tickets are available now, but only if you follow Baby Shark Live on social media, where you will discover the secret promo code is "SHARK."  But if you don't have the promo code ("SHARK," for those fans with short attention spans), you have to wait until Friday, July 12, when anyone can buy them.

Tickets are $29.50, $39.50, $49.50 and $55.50. Should you want a meet and greet with Baby Shark and Pinkfong (a pink fox, which may not be what you pictured), add another $40 per person. You also get a Baby Shark souvenir bag.

1-year-olds and older must have a ticket, which makes sense since Baby Shark's fan base largely is comprised of preschoolers, the perfect chum.

If you are asking, "What is a Baby Shark and Pinkfong, and why would I want to meet, let alone greet, them?" your unawareness is considered bliss among the cynics.

"Baby Shark" is a catchy little ditty that will colonize your brain, living there rent-free for the rest of your life.

If you have heard it (maybe 100 times by now), it’s gliding through your brain like a great white baby shark ready to feast on your sanity.

Baby shark, do do do do do do

Baby shark, do do do do do do

Baby shark, do do do do do do

Baby shark!

It goes on like that, with a similar verse for the other members of the shark family (mommy, daddy, grandma and grandpa; thank goodness baby is an only shark or this could go on forever). Then there’s something about hunting or running away, but most minds are gone by that time.

"Baby Shark" lays down an inspiring beat to learn CPR.

If you have Baby Shark fans at home, and you let it slip there is a "Baby Shark Live!" show, and that it's coming to Mesa, and they know that Mesa isn't too far away, there's good news and bad news.

Good news is the show is at 6 p.m., nudging the bedtimes of many toddlers (if not those grandparents recruited to accompany them). 

Bad news is that tantrums may ensue should you refuse their very consistent pleas to go. Think of it this way: If you take them, you can shoot the kind of photos and videos that will be very embarrassing when you meet their prom date. Payback.

Producing the live show, and evidently giving no thought to its effect on the mental health of parents, is Pinkfong, which turns out to be a South Korean educational entertainment company whose alter ego is a cartoon fox.

With great song annoyance comes great responsibility, yet Pinkfong has licensed “Baby Shark” for a singing toys, a Nickelodeon cartoon and, now, a live show. Where does it end? It doesn’t.

Picture that live show. You can’t switch off the Bluetooth speaker and order your child to bed before beating a path to the wine cabinet.

If you (or, more accurately, when you) reach your breaking point, you could depart with your preschooler. That, however, would leave a lasting mark on social media as other adults post parent-shaming videos of you and your screaming child. (They will feel justified in doing so; because if they have to sit through it, everyone has to sit through it.)

You could wear noise-canceling headphones, but no technology on Earth can block “Baby Shark.” While “It’s a Small World” long held the record as the deepest, most immovable earworm, “Baby Shark” chewed it up and spit it out.

Should your children hear of “Baby Shark Live!” (and they will because life is unfair), you have only one recourse.

Spotify roulette.

Gather your parental friends. Call up your kid’s playlist on your phone and tap “Shuffle” and then “Next.” The song playing isn’t “Baby Shark?” Hand the phone to the next parent, who presses “Next.” Whoever plays “Baby Shark” has to take the kids to the show.

Just be merciful to the losers. Greet them after the concert, wipe the blood from their ears and hand them a cold compress and a bottle of wine.

And pray there isn’t another “Baby Shark” tour. 

Have any tips on relatively unknown, must-see destinations in Arizona? Reach the reporter at scott.craven@arizonarepublic.com or at 602-444-8773. Follow him on Twitter @Scott_Craven2.

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