An orphan whose brother was killed running away from a children’s home has told his devastating story in a bid to inspire others.

Jason Millar has been dealt more heartache in his 37 years than most people could ever imagine.

But the barber and former soldier is still fighting to succeed for the sake of his own sons and partner Orla.

He told Belfast Live: “A lot of people know me and a hell of a lot of people wouldn’t know I struggle with mental health, but everyday life is a struggle for some people.

Jason with his supportive partner Orla

“I am not scared of telling my story, because if people had gone through what I’ve went through they would be in jail or they would be dead. It’s crazy.

“I have accepted it now because I have two sons - Jason and Wayne, who is named after my brother - and I am just trying to make good for them now.”

The Newtownabbey native was just seven when he and little brother Wayne were orphaned as their mum Sandra died in 1990 aged just 34.

But the worst was yet to come for Jason, who had promised his mum he would “look after” his wee brother before she died.

His mum Sandra feeding him at the beach

A care home ‘escape’ changed everything again in 1992, when Jason watched on helplessly as eight-year-old Wayne was “killed in front of me” by a car, leaving Jason with nothing but a deep sense of guilt.

He explained: “We ran away with a few older ones from the home.

“Wayne wasn’t meant to come and when we left we walked a good bit and got the train to Carrick.

“When we got there one of the older boys rang the home from the phone box and Wayne shouted in the background we were in Carrick.

Hard at work at his old barbershop

“One of the older boys was going to hit him for telling it. Shortly after that were crossing the North Road when I heard the bang.

“He was hit by a car. I remember following him in the ambulance with the flashing lights and then all of a sudden they stopped flashing on the way to the hospital.”

Jason’s uncle fought for custody of the vulnerable nine-year-old and a year later he moved in with him in Newtownabbey.

He stayed there until joining the Army at 17.

But despite signing up for three years, the Holywood resident was discharged in 18 months because the mental anguish he had already suffered compounded when his best pal in the Royal Irish Regiment took his own life.

Jay has kept clippings about his brother's death

He added: “The Army did sort me out a wee bit, but it was hard.

“Back then you were just left. Nobody said anything or did anything about it and you just felt isolated.”

Outside his new shop

Instead of seeking help for, Jason went straight into barbering as he used to cut his late pal’s hair while they served together.

After five year’s success running his own barber shop - everything he had suffered finally took a toll.

“Things were going really well,” he added, “but I ended up with depression and I lost the shop.

“It was too much for me to cope with.

His sons Jason, left, two and a half and Wayne, 16 months

“I started to drink a lot two years ago because of everything that happened and stopped coming in.”

The staff at Jay’s Male Grooming on Bloomfield Avenue dropped off one by one, until he was forced to sell up.

“It was the kick up the backside that I needed,” he said.

“From then I haven’t been drunk or nothing.

“I have actually gone to see a councillor now and I am a far better man because of it.”

Now he is trying to give something back

Now back on his feet, Jay teaches up and coming barbers at his new shop on Templemore Avenue, but he also goes “out on Christmas Day to cut hair for the homeless” and is “trying to give something back”.

“When people are in the situations that I was in they feel like they have nowhere to turn,” he added.

“But there’s hope at the end of tunnel. Talk to people or even come and see me anytime in the shop.”

Face time with his partner Orla and two boys

If you or someone you know is in distress or despair, call the regional freephone crisis helpline Lifeline on 0808 808 8000. You will receive immediate support from a trained counsellor.

You can also call Samaritans free phone on 116 123 or text 07725 909090, or PIPS on free phone 0800 088 6042.

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