Speakers hope to open discussions

Young people need to be able to talk about subjects that scare them, and that means adults must start conversations and develop relationships.

Hayden High School principal James Sandstrom expressed those thoughts Tuesday as the city of Topeka is visited this week by two national speakers who don't shy away from tough subjects.

Suicide. Drugs. Alcohol. Bullying. Social media.

Kevin Hines, who attempted suicide by jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge, spoke at a free public event on Tuesday. Nathan Harmon will share his story in a free event open to the public at 7 p.m. Thursday at Hayden Catholic High School, 401 S.W. Gage Blvd.

It is important to bring in these kinds of speakers, Sandstrom said, as another way to broach the tough topics.

"I thought Nathan did a great job about talking about the masks that kids wear to disguise their true feelings, and just making them aware that it's OK to let that mask down and to talk about how they're feeling and what they're thinking about," he said.

That is his primary goal, Harmon said in a phone interview. He spoke at multiple schools this week ahead of the Thursday event.

"The younger generation is losing the ability to communicate their social and their emotional struggles because of digital media and social media," he said. "I'm not against any of those things. I think they're a great benefit. But it can't replace face-to-face conversation."

Harmon said that in his talks, he focuses on a message encapsulated in the idea of "a moment of impact, a lifetime of change." Those words resonate with him, he said, because of the troubles he faced as a boy that escalated into a terrible choice that resulted in the death of his friend Priscilla Owens. She was killed as a passenger in a car that Harmon was driving while drunk.

"I was sentenced in Indiana in 2009, when I was 23," Harmon said, adding that he was to serve 15 years in prison. Owens' parents forgave Harmon but told him to make the world a better place so their daughter hadn't died in vain, he said.

After being released from prison 11 years early, Harmon began talking about what he had learned. His story reaches young audiences, and Harmon said he makes it a point to stay authentic.

"There's a lot of students, there's a lot of people, that are screaming for help, but they're silent," he said. "These talks, we're trying to let people know that it's OK to not be OK, and that they're not alone, and that many of us are facing challenges, adversity. But giving up is not an option.

"Quitting life is not an option. Drugs and alcohol aren't an option. Hurting and bullying people aren't the options."

Kids wear masks, he said, and don't let people know what is below the surface. Connecting with them can help them reach out for the help they need.

"When we don't talk, pressure builds, and when pressure builds, pressure busts pipes," he said.

Sandstrom said it is important for educators to develop relationships so kids can talk.

"It's really through being vulnerable that you can develop a trust with a person. I think that's difficult for kids nowadays," he said. "They have to be afraid that what they might tell their friend might end up on social media. I think they're reserved in a lot of their conversations. They don't really know what a safe environment is. As a school, we try to provide them with a safe environment."