First-time parents were left heartbroken when they realised their stillborn son would never exist - as he was born too prematurely for them to register his birth.
Darren Collier, 49, and his wife Kay, 38, found out they were expecting their son, Joseph James Collier, following a second IVF attempt in 2018.
But joy quickly turned to heartbreak when Kay contracted an infection and her waters broke at 21 weeks, leaving little Joseph fighting for his life before he was stillborn at 23 weeks.
And to add to their devastation, the couple from St Austell will never have a birth certificate for their son as he was born just a week too soon for them to legally register his birth.
Kay, an administrator with glass merchant Cornwall Glass, said: "It was the most painful thing that my husband and I have experienced mentally and emotionally.
"We would never know what colour his eyes were, what facial expressions he would have or be able to recognise his laughter and cry.
"The pain of this was, and still is unbearable."
She added: "Even more distressing, giving birth pre-24 weeks, in the eyes of the world our Joseph does not exist. Not being able to register his birth on December 2 2018 with Darren and Kay Collier as his parents is heartbreaking.
"We know we have a son, but without having an official birth certificate, records will never show that he ever existed. We know he existed. He did have a life. He was not a waste. Joseph was our son. We all say hello from the first scan. How can we say goodbye?"
Now the Colliers want to create a memorial garden that is solely dedicated to babies born through a late miscarriage. They hope this will allow parents to lay their child to rest with dignity, while offering support for families in times of grief.
At the time of Joseph's death the couple were offered three options to bury him: a privately-funded service with his body placed in a shared grave; a group hospital cremation; a burial on their own private land, like a pet.
Kay said: "He was too small to cremate to obtain many, if any, ashes. Anything collected could have been scattered over a dedicated memorial garden at a cemetery.
"We want this new memorial garden to celebrate life, not be the death pit a cemetery is.
"It is for heartbroken parents like us who want to remember their babies and to raise awareness of late miscarriages and stillbirths.
"From having being told we were having a healthy son from all the scans, this news was devastating and added to the grief and trauma we went through.
"How can I have given birth and then to know he doesn’t exist? It’s so traumatising. Currently Joseph is buried in our garden. We wanted to set up a charity to get land to have a burial and memorial garden dedicated solely to late miscarriage babies.
"We want to start it in Cornwall and then hopefully the dream is to have a well established charity and land will be available nationwide to help parents have an option for burying their child. A place where they can be recognised in the world and the world knows they exist."
To create the garden, Kay and Darren want to first set up a charity, Ride 4 Joseph, which they need £5,000 to register and launch.
In an update on their fundraising page, Kay wrote: "Everyone tells me I am still a Mother even though I lost my son Joseph at 23 weeks, born sleeping.
"I may not know what I am doing, I may get it wrong. I will make it up as I go along. I will get criticised. I will try different things to make it work.(some will, some won’t) I will be praised. I will be admired. He will bring me joy, he will bring me to tears. He will make me happy, he will make me sad. He will keep me awake all night. But he will ALWAYS BE LOVED.
"So, yes, I am a mother. A mother fighting for her son. A mother putting her neck on the line. For his existence. For his life. A mother in need of help.
"Yes I am that Mother that never shuts up and goes on too much.
"But his legacy will be worth it."
Today, (Thursday, August 22), ironmonger Darren started a 300-mile bicycle ride on a 20in BMX dressed as a monkey to raise money for their campaign. He has been seen in recent weeks on his training rides around Cornwall in his full monkey get-up .
Starting in London, he will pass through Bath, Glastonbury and Taunton before ending in Royal Cornwall Hospital in Truro on Monday (August 26).
Kay said: "The monkey is what we had with us all the time during my pregnancy with Joseph. We had his room all monkeyfied. It is about Joseph and this ride is for him.
"We want to help others in grief and provide a better option and support that can bring some comfort in desperate times of sorrow.
"Everyone has a purpose and we hope Joseph gives legacy to many others."
The funds raised by the bike ride will go towards setting up a registered charity, Rest With Joseph.
Within a month of starting the 'Ride 4 Joseph' campaign, nearly £4,000 has been raised.
The target is £5,000, which is the estimated figure needed to register the Rest With Joseph charity and to obtain land for the memorial garden.
Darren said: "Being haunted by the visions of being in the labour room and having to stay strong for my wife is now what I face on a daily basis. Inside I was wanting to scream out loud to the world.
"Seeing the pain and sadness in Kay’s eyes as she was giving birth naturally to the baby she so dearly and desperately wanted. Already knowing she would never see his eyes open or hear his first cry.
"Joseph was delivered at 21.03 on 2nd December 2018. This should be the most poignant and happy moment in everyone’s life. Instead, cutting the umbilical cord where your baby should breathe on its own and take it first breath in the world was a cut to merely separate our son from his mother’s body"He was so perfect and beautiful, with a chubby little face that we hoped he would wake any second.
"Moments later, the heartache I felt was unbearable as I saw Kay with little Joseph on her chest being taken away to theatre as the placenta would not come away. I walked out the hospital main exit and I just screamed at the heavens.
"I just want everyone to get behind and support the BMX monkey and what we are trying to achieve. It is a very worthy cause and the messages we have received are very much wanted and needed."
To help Kay and Darren achieve their £5,000 target, visit: https://www.gofundme.com/f/ride-4-joseph
