It’s time we heard from Prince Andrew, say RICHARD AND JUDY

In a nutshell, Andrew finds himself increasingly tarnished with so-called guilt by association. He needs to explain his relationship with the dead paedophile before others do the explaining for him. While he insists he is totally innocent of any wrong-doing and is ‘appalled’ by the allegations against his former friend, every day seems to bring fresh twists in the tale. 

I’d advise him to get onto the front foot, fast. The time for flunkies issuing blanket statements of denial has passed. 

Let’s take stock. There is of course the notorious 2001 photograph of the Duke as a beefy middle-aged man with his arm around the bare midriff of a slender young girl, Virginia Giuffre (nee Roberts). Not a good look. 

Now court papers seen by The Sun allege Andrew flew on a private jet with Epstein and Giuffre to the US Virgin Islands. Pilot David Rodgers, 66, has made a witness statement to this effect (although the Federal Appeals Court pointed out that ‘materials submitted to a court should not be understood as firm findings or some sort of marker of reliability’). 

Andrew hung out with Epstein over at least a decade. In 2010, two years after the pervert was convicted and jailed for having sex with a minor (and linked to the molestation of 36 others) the Duke was photographed walking with him in Central Park. Andrew subsequently admitted poor judgment and stood down as a special UK trade envoy. 

But now we know it wasn’t just a walk in the park. This week saw the release of a grainy video showing the Duke peering out from behind the door of Epstein’s £63m Manhattan Mansion, waving goodbye to a brunette before quickly looking around, presumably to see if anyone was observing him. Unfortunately for Andrew, they were. 

Again, not a good look. But what on earth was the Queen’s favourite son doing maintaining a friendship with this reptile, who by that time had no reputation left to defend? 

Now a lawyer for some of Epstein’s alleged victims has challenged Andrew to ‘tell everything he knows’ under oath. Brad Edwards, whose clients include Giuffre, says he wants to hear sworn testimony from the Duke. 

This may be classic legal grandstanding, but actually I think Edwards has a point. If I were a lawyer building a case for my clients, I’d certainly want to ask the Duke, like other “friends” of Epstein, exactly what they knew about his repellent lifestyle. Potentially it is material evidence. 

I’d advise Andrew to make a detailed statement voluntarily, sooner rather than later. He should see it as damage limitation because if there are legal moves to force him to speak (and I believe there will be) having information dragged out of him won’t be a good look; it will be a very, very bad one. 

Royals are in it for the long haul

J - “Forgive me father, for I have flown.” “Right. I assume your flight was absolutely necessary?” “Well, it was for me and Meghan. We were knackered, baby not sleeping much. A few rows with the family... we needed a holiday.” “A holiday? Hmm... not good. Where did you fly to?” 

“Not far. Nice.” “Better. Short-haul. And you flew economy?” “Er... well, no. You see Father, we’ve got these very rich friends and they invited us to stay in their fabulous villa. 

“And they sent a private jet to pick us up.” 

“Private jet? Why couldn’t you take a scheduled flight? There are lots to Nice every day, aren’t there?” 

“Well, it’s the public, you see. We hate crowds, and they take so many selfies. We just wanted some peace.” 

“St Greta of Thunberg won’t be pleased. But not to worry. We can do something to lessen your guilt. Have you heard of carbon-offsetting?” 

“Yes. In fact our A-list friends have already made an appropriate contribution to a charity specialising in that sort of thing... they plant a lot of trees, and stuff.” 

“You are indeed fortunate in having wealthy friends. Their thoughtful actions have bought you absolution. You are forgiven, my son.” “Don’t I even have to say a few Hail Marys? Sorry, I mean Hail Gretas.” 

“No. But if you do it again don’t forget there’s a carbon-offsetting collection box outside every confessional in the Church of the Holy Planet. As long as you keep donating a few hundred quid to the great cause, you’re pretty much free to do as you like.” 

“Fantastic! I’ll tell the wife. She gets so upset when people call us hypocrites.” 

“Yes... you wouldn’t believe how many celebrities are criticised for flying abroad to various parties or awards ceremonies, usually long-haul, too. It’s so unfair – they’re deeply committed to cutting down on air travel to save the planet, but their own need to fly is unavoidable. Luckily they’re rich enough to contribute to quite a few zero-carbon schemes. Poorer folk who go on holiday abroad and don’t pay their eco-dues simply have no excuse.” 

“I’ll remember that. Thank you Father.” 

“Go in peace, my son. And may the planet preserve you, as your wealthy friends preserve the planet.”