Michigan is a hotbed for sin — and this study confirms it

When it comes to sin, Michigan certainly ranks.

In a new analysis of all 50 states, a personal finance website tried to quantify seven human vices — jealousy, anger, vanity, laziness, lust, greed and excess — to come up with a state sin index in advance of Fat Tuesday, the last day before the Lenten season.

And what kind of money expert doesn't know about sin?

WalletHub's study used 43 metrics, which included things like the number of crimes, thefts, and hair salons per capita; how much people weighed and weed they smoked; and even the amount of time they spent looking at porn.

March 5 is the last day before Lent — 40 days, not counting Sundays, representing the time Jesus spent in the wilderness, enduring the temptation of Satan — and therefore the last day to indulge.

The study, as you might expect, found the most sinful state was Nevada, the home of Sin City. But, we can't tell you much more about why because what goes on in Las Vegas, stays in Vegas.

The least sinful was Vermont. What do you expect from a place with a nickname as exciting and creative as the Green Mountain State? Environmentally responsible, stoic — and boring?

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Overall, Michigan ranked 9th, below Nevada, Florida, California, Texas, Tennessee, Louisiana, Georgia and Illinois. But, what's most important, here, is we beat Ohio, ranked 14th.

Broken down by vice, here's how Michigan did:

Envy: 6

Jealousy is our worst vice, according to the ranking. We ranked 6. But, we are very envious of the states that came in ahead of us Delaware, New Mexico, Nevada, and Georgia. We really, really, wanted to be in the top spot, which Florida holds.

Anger: 10

We were the 10th angriest state. But, it pissed us off that we were beaten by South Dakota, Missouri, South Carolina, Alabama, Louisiana, Montana, Alaska,  Arkansas and Tennessee.

Laziness: 15

The study put us at 15 for sloth. It's too much work to type how the rest did.

Pride: 14

As for vanity, we know the study's 14 ranking was wrong. Let's face it, what state is better than ours? And states in the top five — New York, New Jersey, California, Florida, Pennsylvania — we suspect had work done. Pure Michigan!

Lust: 27

We were 27 when it came to lust, just behind Virginia, which is for lovers, right? The five hottest states? Texas, California, Tennessee, Florida, Louisiana. The colder it gets, the more we dream about Florida.

Greed: 42

At 42, we're not that greedy. But we're still ranked higher than 45th-ranked Ohio.

Gluttony: 22

And then there's gluttony. We were 22nd. More than most. And we still have nearly two weeks to indulge in a paczki or two or three or four or five ... 

Contact Frank Witsil: 313-222-5022 or fwitsil@freepress.com.