A grieving mother is sending a heartfelt plea to those struggling with troubling thoughts to speak out after the tragic loss of her son this week.
Ben Brown, 22, from Gloucester, took his own life in the early hours of Monday morning after he wrote a letter to his mother explaining that he struggled mentally when he wasn’t on the go.
Helen Hartery-Brown, 54, wants to get the message out there that help is available to anyone feeling overwhelmed.
Helen said how Ben had been living with housemates at the University of Loughborough in Leicestershire during lockdown and communicating with his family.
She said: “He was on lockdown in Loughborough with two of his house mates from university.
“We video called him at 6pm the night before he took his life.
“Ben was very close to his Mum.
“My last words to him were, ‘I love you millions.’ His last words to me were, ‘I love you too mum’.”
The night before he died he didn’t express how he was feeling about lockdown when he spoke to his loving parents. It was only in the letter that he expressed his thoughts.
“The lockdown had a massive impact on him,” Helen said.
“Ben had not spoken to anyone about how he was feeling. He found it all too overwhelming.
“He said in the letter to me he had thoughts when he was at rest and that is why he was a million miles an hour. He was busy all the time because he did not want to be alone with his thoughts.”
Helen doesn’t want others to suffer like her boy did. She wants other people, of any age, to tell their loved ones or friends how they are feeling and know they are not alone.
“I want people to hear my message when I say that there is nothing so insurmountable that you cannot get help.
“Please reach out and get the help and support that you need.
“I really do not want another family to go through this.”
In the weeks before he passed he donated to the charity Papyrus which hopes to prevent people taking their own lives.
If there is someone who you feel is considering taking their own lives, please visit their website to get advice.
Ben left behind a legacy of wonderful memories, but there was still so much he had to look forward to, Helen said.
She said: “Ben was going to begin officer training with the army in September after finishing at the University of Loughborough where he was studying architectural engineering.
“He was always so busy and packed a lot into his short life.
“Ben was an intelligent and loving man who left a lasting impression with many people.”
Born in Gloucester, Ben and his family moved away for a spell before returning back to the city when he was in Year 6 at primary school.
He was a pupil at Barnwood Church of England Primary School before starting secondary school at The Crypt School in Podsmead.
Ben then went to Welbeck College in Leicestershire where he completed A-levels across the sciences before starting university in 2016.
Helen said: “My son lived life to the full. He took himself off travelling to Thailand and Vietnam and even went to Madagascar where he volunteered with building projects there. He was always travelling around the country to music gigs too.
“I am so proud of him and all that he achieved. He had the whole summer planned before the lockdown.”
The family have had hundreds of messages of support from friends of Ben who he had met over the years.
His mother said: “He always helped other people. He always made time.
“Some messages I have been sent from people he had only known for a night from his travels, but he had made a real lasting good impression on them.
“Ben loved to be outdoors and taking part in the army exercises and weekends away.
“This summer he was going to be working helping set up gigs and festivals with a company as he loved music.
“He was always off to festivals himself and went to Reading and even Benicassim in Spain.
“Ben, my son lived life to the full.”
Ben leaves behind his mother, father Chris Brown, 51, older brother Alex, step-mother Neelam Brown and his step father Mark Hartery, 52, as well as five other step and half siblings in the wider family.
Where to get help and what to do if you're worried about mental health issues
If you're not feeling yourself, going through a bad time, or are just feeling sad more than usual, it's possible that you could be experiencing depression or anxiety.
This doesn't mean that you're necessarily at risk, there are scales of both, and it could be that you are just experiencing low mood or moderate anxiety.
The most important thing to do is to let people around you know how you're feeling.
Talking to a partner, family member or friend is essential. They may be able to offer support and can be there for you while you go through a difficult time.
Where can I get help?
You should also go to talk to your GP.
Your GP can help find out if you're experiencing anxiety, stress and depression.
They can recommend ways to feel better naturally, for example increasing your exercise levels, or can suggest medication and counselling.
They can also refer you on to other mental health services.
Who else can I call?
Let’s Talk is a free NHS service for anyone experiencing mental health issues such as anxiety, stress and depression. It can be contacted on 0800 073 2200 or via www.talk2gether.nhs.uk.
If you feel you need more help, you can call the Gloucestershire Health and Care NHS Foundation Trust direct on 0800 073 2200 to discuss an appointment.
The mental health charity Mind runs a helpline on 0300 123 3393, or 86463 on text.
The Samaritans is also always there for those who have nowhere else to turn.
But it stresses that it's not just for those who have suicidal thoughts. In fact they say: "Most people who contact us are not suicidal. When you talk to us, we will give you an opportunity to talk about any thoughts or feelings you have, whatever they may be."
You can call the Samaritans on 116 123.
