British army releases bizarre video describing how soldiers would tackle St George's dragon: ‘We'd take it down with our 30mm cannons and 7.62 chain guns’

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On St George’s Day, the day the English celebrate the fictional slaying of a dragon in Libya by a Turkish man, the British army decided to give the saga an unforgettable twist, by answering the apparently burning question: “How could we use modern weapons to slaughter a dragon in the 21st century?”

If the story of England’s patron saint isn’t confusing enough already, a new promotional video provides viewers with a lighthearted celebration of St George’s dragon-slaying antics, exploring the scenario in bloodthirsty detail.

Using a Wheel of Fortune method for selecting the type of execution the dragon is to undergo, the soldiers then explain exactly how they could use devastating military force on a mythical creature.

The first spin of the wheel sees the arrow point to a huge sniper rifle with telescopic sight.

“Hi, I’m from First Battalion, The Rifles. Happy St George’s Day,” says a voice coming from the pixelated head of a soldier wearing combat gear and cradling an enormous weapon.

“How would I defeat a dragon? For us as snipers we’d be given intelligence from any kind of source that there’s an enemy dragon operating in the area.”

He suggests using “thermal sights, laser rangefinders, and of course, the 338”, before hoisting the massive gun up into view.

He goes on to explain how a squad could murder the apparently male dragon while he is hovering over a nest full of eggs.

“From that position, in the hover, we could take a shot, hopefully bringing him down if not killing him straight out.”

If this doesn’t work, the soldier suggests calling for “mortars or artillery” to “finish the job”, thereby allowing the soldiers to feast on the remains of their vanquished foe.

“There we have it, dragon omelettes for all the boys back in camp.”

Another spin of the wheel of death sees the arrow land on a tank. Could a tank kill a dragon?

“My name’s Private George,” begins the next would-be executioner. “The only way to defeat the dragon is with armoured infantry,” he says. Private George is clearly not a fan of his colleague’s sniper/artillery/omelette plan.

Under cover of night, after surrounding the imaginary creature, “we’d take the dragon out with our 30mm cannons and 7.62 chain guns”.

He then suggests troops move in to finish the dragon off with guns.

The final spin of the wheel of random weapons lands on a picture of a lance. “Hi there, my name’s Trooper George, and I’m a lifeguard,” says a young man holding a lance in one hand and the reins of a horse in the other.

But he’s not here to save lives. He is here to explain how he’d exterminate a sleeping dragon.

“In essence I’d probably use my horse here, and a lance, to gallop into the dragon’s den as he’s asleep or maybe as he’s just about to get out of bed. In essence, if I don’t kill him the first time, I’d probably use the cavalry for assistance, and that’s how we’d slay a dragon.”

“Army, Be The Best,” ends the transmission.