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SUZETTE HACKNEY

Hackney: Michelle Obama — an unapologetic black woman

Obama, speaking directly to the crowd filled with many young girls, warned that they must be educated, prepared and ready to step up to the table.

A group of young women pose for photos before entering Bankers Life Fieldhouse for a Women's Fund of Central Indiana moderated conversation with former First Lady Michelle Obama on Tuesday, Feb. 13, 2018.

A year removed from the White House and the constant scrutiny that comes with being first lady, Michelle Obama is not afraid to tell it like it is. 

And, woo, did she tell it Tuesday night to a sold-out crowd of more than 13,000 at Bankers Life Fieldhouse in Indianapolis.

Obama was fearless. This is a 54-year-old black woman who has made her way from Chicago Public Schools to Princeton University and Harvard Law School, before sitting in the boardrooms of nonprofits, hospitals and law firms — all of that before becoming the nation's first African-American first lady.

She has seen it all. And it hasn't all been pretty.

Obama, speaking as part of a Women's Fund of Central Indiana Event called "A Moderated Conversation with Former First Lady Michelle Obama," shared inspiring words for an hour, mostly about empowering women, particularly girls and women of color. 

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She spoke of children today who are achieving good grades, who are not in gangs, who work hard and do what they should, but are still discriminated against, doubted or feared because their skin happens to be brown. 

"They're me. I am the kid you are afraid of," she said of people's perceptions of those minority children.

Yet there are those who feel entitled, either by legacy or privilege, who want to hold others back, she said. For example, Obama said she has seen affirmative action in all forms — work for all people — but it's only decried as a problem when it helps people of color.

"There are very mediocre people out there who run stuff, but nobody out there told them they can't," Obama said. "You're just as capable. But you can't be at the table if you're not prepared."

It was refreshing to hear Obama get real and raw. As a professional black woman, I felt her. I know what it's like to be sitting at the table with people wondering why I'm there — or if I'm only there because of affirmative action.

Obama, speaking directly to the crowd filled with many young girls, warned that they must be educated, prepared and ready to step up to the table. "Put the work in and don't stop yourself before you even try," she said.

"You have to practice achieving through people's low expectations of you," she said.

I'm going to share that quote again because it was a gut punch for me:

"You have to practice achieving through people's low expectations of you."

That is the heartbreaking message that Michelle Obama — and mothers and aunties and sisters — must tell little girls of color. Because of how you look, because of the color of your skin, people don't expect anything from you. But you have to keep pushing. 

I walked away from Obama's conversation inspired and ready to keep pushing — for me and for girls and women who look like me and for those who don't. Because really, it's about being a decent human.

Obama ended the night with some advice for all of us. She encouraged folks to be empathetic, to be kind, to not look for the negatives in our neighbors — because we all want the same things out of life. 

Assume there is no reason to fear women or black women or a person of color, she said. Assume the best, not the worst.

"Act with decency and with some compassion and with an open heart and nobody can take that away from you," Obama said.

Email IndyStar columnist Suzette Hackney at suzette.hackney@indystar.com. Friend her on Facebook at Suzette Hackney and follow her on Twitter: @suzyscribe.