It's fine we're stuck at home, since popular Wisconsin spots aren't worth visiting according to these hilarious one-star reviews

It's a good thing the coronavirus is keeping us at home right now and away from places like Miller Park, because according to some online reviewers, those places are terrible anyway.

Miller Park has a 4.7-star rating (out of 5) on Google, averaged from more than 18,000 reviews. 

The 19-year-old home of the Milwaukee Brewers is a great place to visit in normal years, with plenty of concessions and a retractable roof guaranteeing a comfortable viewing experience whatever the weather.  

But not everyone is impressed.  

Google user John Terrino gave the park one star out of five, writing: “I hate this place. The constant loud announcements and bad music make it intolerable. I just want to enjoy baseball, but they don’t allow that here.” 

No matter how beautiful or popular a place is — or perhaps because it is so popular — there’s always someone who has #opinions about it, and the Internet brings out those opinions in full force.

Sometimes the bad reviews are clearly jokes, or attempts at jokes. There's a running joke, for example, of one-star reviews of the Grand Canyon based on lost pants.

But other reviewers seem serious in their criticism of popular places. One Yelp reviewer gave the natural wonder just one star and wrote: "Whoopity do, Grand Canyon. You are a giant hole in the ground. You were caused be erosion. You don't have roller coasters or dippin' dots. Jeeesh. Can you say "overrated?' "

At least we can get some amusement out of the hating. Here are some of the best worst ratings for popular Wisconsin attractions.

Lambeau Field, Green Bay: Legendary Lambeau is not immune to criticism, despite being TripAdvisor’s top-rated thing to do in Green Bay and having a 4.8 rating on Google based on more than 14,000 reviews.  

Maxwell Pankonin, perhaps a biased reviewer considering his profile photo is a Vikings logo, gave the Frozen Tundra one star and wrote, “Simply way too much damn cheese.” It’s unclear if he was referring to actual cheese or the foam creations fans wear on their heads, but his reviews of other NFC North stadiums offer a clue as to his intentions.

For the Chicago Bears’ Soldier Field, he gave one star and wrote: “I had a bear maul my favourite team here. Somebody call animal control plz.” Soldier Field replied: “We are truly sorry, hope you come back and give us another chance.” (The Vikings last played the Bears in Chicago on Nov. 18, 2018, and the Bears won 25-20.)

Ford Field, home to the Detroit Lions, got five stars and this review: "So polite to guests. Always letting them into the endzone." (The Vikings beat the Lions at Ford Field 27-9 on Dec. 23, 2018.)

Minneapolis' U.S. Bank Stadium, home to the Vikings, got five stars and this review: "Loud AF."

In what seems like a more serious bad review, Gerald Bruno gave Lambeau one star and wrote: "What a miserable place to sit after paying hundreds of dollars for a concert. History schmistery ... it's nothing special." The review was written in June 2019, presumably after the stadium played host to Paul McCartney.

Harley-Davidson Museum, Milwaukee: This is Milwaukee’s No. 1 thing to do on TripAdvisor and has a 4.7 average rating from more than 6,000 Google reviews. The museum tells the history of one of Milwaukee’s most storied brands, and includes artifacts and bikes dating back to the company's beginning in 1903. 

None of that impressed John Blanchard, who gave it one star and a succinct “Mehh” review on Google.

Milwaukee Art Museum: The museum has works from some of the world's top artists, including Pablo Picasso and Claude Monet. Even the exterior is beautiful, its wing-like Santiago Calatrava addition serving as an unofficial logo for Milwaukee. The museum has an average rating of 4.7 stars out of more than 5,000 reviews on Google.  

Art is subjective, of course, but Valerie Sobieski isn't a fan of the portraits, in particular: “A bunch of poorly painted portraits...” she wrote on her one-star Google review.   

The House on the Rock, Spring Green: The home and eclectic collections of architect Alex Jordan have become a tourist attraction precisely because they are so strange. Most people visit to see the weirdness, but Google reviewer Elaine Snyder apparently wasn't aware of this appeal. The House has an average rating of 4.6 stars from more than 3,000 reviews, but Snyder gave it one star and wrote: "Dirty, dark, dingy, red, creepy, weird maze! $50 and two hours later, I just wanted to get out of there and breathe fresh air!"

If you've ever been to House on the Rock, you probably can relate to just wanting to get out. But like visiting a haunted house for its scare factor, most people visit the House for its creepiness. So by that metric, Snyder should have given it five stars. (For the record, online advance tickets are $29.95 for adults for the Ultimate Experience, which includes access to all parts of the House. Adult tickets for just Section 1 are $14.95.)

Cave of the Mounds, Blue Mounds: This National Natural Landmark has been called the "jewel box" of major American caves, with a dazzling array of formations from stalactites and stalagmites to soda straws and flowstones. 

It has an average 4.7 rating from more than 1,900 reviews on Google, but user Christopher Air max was looking for something more dazzling. He gave it two stars and wrote: "Needs more cave to walk through. Also the color pallet (sic) in the cave is dull. The giant amethyst geode is misleading seeing as how those aren't found in the cave nor this part of the country. Same with the minerals.and stones they sell in the gift shop."

I don't recall seeing a pallet during past tours of the cave, but its color palette did not disappoint me. There was even a section where the guide turned on a blacklight to make the calcite and iron glow for a second.

The cave owner responded on Google: "Christopher, your comments don't reflect the experience of most of our visitors. ... The hour long cave tour trail is approximately two thirds of a mile, and most visitors feel that is a good amount of time to spend underground. Instead of opening the other caverns in the park for visitation, we have opted to preserve them in their natural state for the purpose of conservation and scientific study. ... The color pallet of the onyx formations derives from the trace minerals dissolved with the calcite that drips into the cave."

The owner also noted that the amethyst geodes in the gift shop are not from Wisconsin, because Wisconsin doesn't have the variety of rocks that places in the world have, but the rock's origin is noted next to it.

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Chequamegon-Nicolet National Forest, Clam Lake: Wisconsin's only national forest covers more than 1.5 million acres in Wisconsin's Northwoods. The forest has dozens of campgrounds, lakes, trails and more to explore. 

The expansive forest has an average 4.7 rating from more than 1,100 Google reviews, but 1.5 million acres wasn't enough for morgan heugli, who gave it one star and wrote: "It's not big."

Users Bernard James and Chuck Hirtreiter also gave the forest one star, and were seemingly unfamiliar with Wisconsin's state bird that infests the woods in the summer: "I've never seen bugs like this place. Yikes", James wrote, while Hirtreiter wrote: "Mosquito infested swamp land. No wildlife. Stay home." 

The large national forest is one of the few places you can still visit, if you live in the area. 

Contact Chelsey Lewis at (or clewis@journalsentinel.com. Follow her on Twitter at @chelseylew and @TravelMJS and Facebook at Journal Sentinel Travel.