It’s over a week since the Bundesliga returned to action to fill the football-shaped void in our lives, and on the whole, it has been a load of fun. The games have yielded plenty of genuine quality, an abundance of goals, and in general, it’s just great to have it back as a thoroughly enjoyable means of passing the time until Liverpool eventually get the opportunity to wrap this Premier League title up.
One aspect, though, has been especially strange to come to terms with: the empty stadiums. Even if much of the football has been of a really high standard, it’s still odd at first seeing it all unfold in these almost completely deserted arenas.
It’s the dual-effect of thousands of vacant seats and the consequent lack of noise which creates the almost ghostly atmosphere, punctuated by players communicating, the thud of the ball, and managers bellowing instructions from the touchline.
That, though, is going to be the reality for some time yet. Quite how long is impossible to say, but fans aren’t returning en masse any time soon. So, the question is: what can be done, whether visually or audibly, to enhance the behind-closed-doors experience for TV audiences?
With that in mind, our writers have picked out a variety of approaches from several sports across the world, assessed them and rated them, in order to paint a picture of what Anfield without fans could potentially look (and sound) like. Some of these are genuine options; others are… not.
FC Köln’s shirt-and-scarf tifo display - A+
Best of the lot, I reckon. As much as I admire the creativity of Mönchengladbach’s initiative, there is something slightly creepy about trying to make up for the absence of fans by putting thousands of cardboard replicas in their place.
What Köln have done is essentially create their own tifo in the RheinEnergieStadion, lining the seats closest to the pitch with shirts and scarves donated by fans, with a few cuddly goats thrown into the mix as well (the official club mascot).
It feels more authentic than any of the alternatives, and aesthetically it really does work from a TV perspective, adding plenty of colour and vibrance to the occasion without trying too hard to do something which ends up looking either a bit strange or a bit tacky. I like the idea of Anfield being decked out in thousands of Liverpool shirts and scarves, and maybe even some of the best flags and banners too (if those were allowed).
You could even arrange them to form a great big number 19 on the Kop, with ‘Champions of Europe’ displayed on the Main Stand, ‘Champions of the World’ on the Kenny Dalglish Stand, and ‘Champions of England’ on the Anfield Road End. Make it happen. Joel Rabinowitz
Wrestling with what you’ve got - B+
I kind of… don’t hate this one? Start-up wrestling company All Elite Wrestling (AEW) have, like many other forms of sport and/or entertainment, been hit by the lack of crowds. Their rival, the much more recognisable WWE, have simply decided to have no one in the small arena they are performing in, leading to this really, really weird feeling of watching a fight scene being reenacted directly to your living room -- without the sound effects.
AEW, however, realised the backing track of just grunting and heavy breathing doesn’t really work. If football without fans is nothing, then professional wrestling is just downright weird. Their solution was to place other wrestlers around the arena and make background noises, cheering and jeering when they need to. It results in segments like this, which actually means it doesn’t feel like the public can’t be there.
Imagine getting a whole bunch of former Liverpool players dotted around Anfield. They wouldn’t have to sing or anything like that, just… watch the game as they would. Imagine if you had Steven Gerrard, Jamie Carragher, Ian Rush, John Aldridge and others on the sidelines. You can even throw in the players who aren’t in the 18, and put them on the front row of the Main Stand. Imagine Xherdan Shaqiri giving all he has for ‘Naby Lad’ from the Anfield Road end.
Will it happen? No. Sadly. Should it? Probably. Kristian Walsh
Borussia Mönchengladbach’s cardboard cutouts - B
I actually quite like this innovative approach from Borussia Mönchengladbach, whereby fans have been able to purchase cardboard cut-out versions of themselves for £17 a pop to fill Borussia-Park, with all the proceeds going to local charities. It is a bit weird, obviously, seeing thousands of completely stationary bodies ‘watching’ on in silence, but it’s still significantly better than just having totally empty stands. Being made of cardboard, they didn’t exactly provide much of a home advantage against Bayer Leverkusen at the weekend, but that’s not really the point.
There is also some pretty major scope for some light-hearted jiggery-pokery here, as I’m not entirely sure how stringent they are on the ID of the cardboard figures. According to the website (yes, I have checked), you need a ‘declaration of consent’ to purchase a cut-out of another person, but it does feel like people could definitely exploit loopholes in this. Just imagine a load of cardboard smiling Everton fans stuck on the Kop for the game Liverpool clinch the title, and having to see themselves on TV when the camera zooms in, totally powerless to alter their facial expressions. JR
UFC commentary coaches - D+
So, in the UFC they have been fighting without crowds, with every hiss of the glove and every crunch of the bone heard throughout the octagon. Allowed in the vicinity are a handful of socially distanced journalists and two commentators.
This has caused a slight issue, however, as the commentary can be heard from fighters. Strawweight Carla Esparza admitted she benefited from the overheard comments of Daniel Cormier from the commentary booth in her weekend win:
“It's crazy because he was kind of criticising me.” Esparza said. “Part of me was like, ‘Hey, That's my stuff! Why are you saying that?’ But, I was like, that's actually a good idea.”
Obviously, football stadiums aren’t the Octagon, but the thought of Virgil van Dijk towering over Gary Neville after a sarky comment. Or Jürgen Klopp berating Martin Tyler and encouraging more from him after another one of his passionless Anfield commentaries might just be something I can get on board with. Dan Morgan
Korean sex dolls - F
So there’s a phrase I never thought I’d write in my career. If you’re not aware of the story, strap yourself in.
In South Korea, FC Seoul have been fined a record 100m won (£66,000) for placing sex dolls in empty seats of their stadium during their victory over Gwangju FC last week. According to the Guardian: “Social media users complained about the dolls, some of which were wearing the club’s shirt. Others had been dressed in T-shirts or were holding placards advertising a sex toy seller and a popular online streamer who apparently inspired their design.”
I have many questions about this, which include (but are not limited to):
What the hell were they thinking?
Are they not simply dolls rather than sex dolls if not being used for that purpose?
How come FC Seoul only decided to use around 25 of them in a huge stadium?
What on earth were they thinking?
FC Seoul claimed they thought they were simply mannequins -- something the Korean league officials accepted, but then said “could have easily recognised their use using common sense and experience”.
This is an absolute non-starter, obviously. I mean, could you imagine the reaction if one of these mannequins just sat on the Kop during the game against Crystal Palace? If you’re going to use mannequins, use the ones that model North Face tracksuits in JD Sports. KW
Fans recording chants via an app - F
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is all too Black Mirror for a person who used to find it alien working on a bank holiday, but this is next level. Firstly, what are you expecting people to say down the portal of this app sat at home talking to themselves which isn’t going to make them feel slightly silly and completely inauthentic?
“Oh, tell you what I thought that was a corner.” The dog looks up for two seconds, realises you’re not offering it food and goes back to sleep. And the chants, please no. I don’t want to see grownups singing football songs from their home. I might be beaten by lockdown and seem harsh in this assessment, but everything about this idea is manufactured and awful.
Football has spontaneity at its core. You can’t account for how you act on impulse with 50,000 odd people around you who all want the same thing, it simply can’t be replicated. This is forcing the issue way too much for my liking. In the bin and start again. DM
