I don’t like to boast, but I passed both 'Rocket' Ron Haslam and his son Leon at a Donington Park track day last week.
Ron, as you may well know, won three World and four British Championships in a 30-year career, and Leon is now carrying on the family tradition in World and British Superbikes.
And they may only have been standing in the pits when I passed them, but you have to start somewhere.
When Ron retired from racing, he set up his race school at Donington, and the last time I’d been there two years ago, it rained so hard all day that on the flight back to Belfast that night, my luggage weighed 3kg more than on the flight out because my leathers and boots were so sodden.
This time, thankfully, it was glorious sunshine, and the giant hall at Donington where the school is based was packed with happy riders wandering around the stands of school sponsors such as insurer Carole Nash while waiting their turn to go out and absorb some of the Haslam magic.
The Premier course I was on, using Honda CBR650Rs, consists of three 20-minute track sessions, with briefings before and after each one, and one instructor to two riders.
My instructor was Darren Barton, who’s a gardener when he’s not doing this, and if he’s as fast a gardener as he is a rider, I’d highly recommend him for getting your lawns cut and hedges trimmed in about 38 seconds flat. If you want your roses pruned, that’ll take the full minute.
My fellow rider was Gary, who’s been in the Army since he was 16 and had served in Iraq and Afghanistan.
“We thought we were doing the right thing, but what a mess. Not to mention your part of the world,” he said as we donned our helmets.
“Gary, if you understand Northern Ireland politics, you’re missing the point,” I said, and we set off.
Thankfully, for the use of idiots, red, yellow and green cones on the track showed the braking, turning and apex points of each corner.
After my first session of eight laps, I pulled into the pits as, somewhere in Italy, Valentino Rossi breathed a sigh of relief that his reputation as the Greatest of All Time remained secure.
“You’re smooth enough, but you need to go faster in the straights and lean off the bike more in the corners,” said Darren.
After a bit of enthusiastic leaning on a static bike, he handed me over to fellow instructor Matt Bishop, obviously a man of patience as saintly as his name, for a one-to-one second session.
“Stick close to me, follow my line through the corners and don’t slow down unless I do,” said Matt; which was a bit like Battle of Britain veterans telling new Spitfire pilots to stick to them like glue with Me109s whizzing all over the place.
“That was better,” said Matt as we pulled back into the pits. “You just need to be more confident.”
Making a mental note to sign up to confidenceandyouth.com when I got home, we set out again, and this time I actually managed to stick with him, trusting in the bike not to fling me into the nearest field and leave me draped over a baffled cow.
The Honda was a perfect bike for the circuit – smooth, stable and with ABS front and rear, traction control and quickshifter for clutchless upshifts.
Plus, Donington’s a glorious combination of fast, open, sweeping curves, testing hairpins and a chicane where shifting your weight from one side of the bike to the other just right leaves you powering out with a huge grin in your helmet.
Even better, Matt gave me 90% in his assessment, with As for entry to corners, throttle control, consistency and style.
However, I suspect the truth is that he’s actually Australian and was holding the form upside down and meant 06%.
The Facts
I was on the Ron Haslam Premier Course, £310.
The one-to-one Elite course on a Fireblade is £460, all including kit if needed.
See haslamraceschool.com for details.
Here’s a lap at Donington
youtube.com/watch?v=gDvhmTL6UQo
The school is backed by Carole Nash, carolenash.com
Geoff Hill’s leathers supplied by RST, courtesy of phillipmccallen.com