Criminals caught red-handed often come up with excuses in front of police or the courts.

But some are just so lame or downright bizarre that they bear repeating.

Cases have turned on such diverse things as rabbit food, musician Cheryl and an invisible drugs gang.

Here is our list of tall tales told by offenders trying to dodge justice.

Burglar caught in house claimed pop star Cheryl had given him the property

A deluded burglar was detained under the Mental Health Act after he was caught in a house he claimed had been given by pop star Cheryl.

Andrew Coates, aged 47, told police that the former Girls Aloud singer had handed him the home after buying it the day before for £12.5 million, a jury was told.

The home’s true owner told the trial that she had not sold the house to the celebrity, who was appearing at the time on the BBC talent show The Greatest Dancer.

Cheryl attends a photocall for BBC's The Greatest Dancer last month
Cheryl attends a photocall for BBC's The Greatest Dancer last month

Alison Piper added that she no longer felt safe in her own home and the family were considering moving.

Homeless Coates went on trial after he denied burglary at the plush house in Brixton on the night of March 11 to March 12 last year.

Plymouth Crown Court heard in January that he had taken Dean Piper’s Rolex Yacht Master, valued at more than £10,000.

Coates also seemed to be looking for keys for his Ferrari.

He also pleaded not guilty to flooding the bathroom by leaving the shower on as he spent the night.

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Coates told the jury over a videolink from a secure psychiatric unit that he had met the star at the renowned Ritz hotel in London.

He added that Cheryl’s voice had told him to leave the city centre and go to the house in Brixton.

The court heard that Coates had been diagnosed with “persistent delusional disorder”.

A genuine, even if deluded, belief that the house and everything in it were his could have provided a defence to dishonesty.

But a jury found him guilty of both the burglary and the criminal damage in just over an hour by unanimous verdicts.

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Invisible gang chased prolific burglar into retirement complex

A cruel serial burglar cheated his way into a retirement complex - before being nabbed by two brave OAPs.

Peter Smith, one of Plymouth's most prolific thieves, claimed he took shelter in the flats because he was being chased by a drugs gang.

But CCTV did not catch a sign of his pursuers in Millbay Road and he was seen trying buzzers at the flats before an unsuspected resident let him in.

Jailed: prolific burglar Peter Smith
Jailed: prolific burglar Peter Smith

Smith, aged 51, told police he owed the invisible gang £1,000 but he was really out to steal from people in the complex.

But former policeman Don Davies, aged 79, and former judo fighter Joe Osborne, aged 76, caught him red-handed and restrained him until police arrived at Wesley Court.

A jury saw through Smith's lies at a trial at Plymouth Crown Court which he failed to attend and he was convicted of assault causing actual bodily harm at on September 16 last year.

Jailing him for a hefty six and a half years, Judge Paul Darlow said Smith had targeted elderly folk at the retirement flats – some of whom are deaf and blind.

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He added: “Unfortunately for him, he chose the premises of Mr Davies, a retired police officer.

“He showed remarkable peace of mind, courage and stamina in pursuing Mr Smith.”

The judge said later: “I would like please the bravery of Mr Davies and Mr Osborne to be recognised and award each the sum of £150 for the part they played in the apprehension of Mr Smith.

“They overcame his trademark spitting and foul-mouthed abuse.”

The court heard that Smith bit Mr Osborne in the chest, leaving with him pain for weeks afterwards.

Joe Osborne and Don Davies have told a jury they restrained a burglar
Joe Osborne and Don Davies restrained a burglar

Cowardly Smith, who has chalked up 133 offences, appeared on the videolink from Exeter Prison but returned to his cell for the sentencing.

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Homeless man needed knife in the street because he has no teeth

A homeless man had a knife in the street – because he has no TEETH.

Stuart Clark, aged 45, told the court he needed the lock knife because he is toothless and could not open packets.

Clark was found in a back alley behind a pub with the blade and a rock in a sock on New Year’s Day, Plymouth Crown Court heard.

He faced a jail sentence but a judge ruled that it would not be fair to send him to prison.

Toothless Stuart Clark walks free from court despite having a knife
Toothless Stuart Clark walks free from court despite having a knife

Judge Robert Linford said: “You were homeless and you needed a knife in order to go about your day-to-day business.”

Clark, who has given an address as Valletort Place, Stonehouse, pleaded guilty to possession of a bladed article on January 1.

The court heard he had 22 previous convictions for 71 offences, including one for having a bladed article.

That conviction put him in danger of a six-month prison sentence under a law to combat violent knife crime.

The judge handed Clark a two-year community order with 35 days of intensive probation supervision.

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Racist shopper was on a rabbit food mercy mission

Tristan Carrington denies racial abuse in supermarket dog row
Tristan Carrington was convicted of racial abuse in supermarket dog row

A racist shopper was found guilty of shouting a tirade of abuse at a black security guard who asked him to leave a supermarket – because he was carrying a dog.

Tristan Carrington, aged 24, claimed he was already on his way out of the store on a bizarre mercy mission to buy rabbit food and pyjamas for a friend visiting someone in hospital.

He was convicted by a jury of calling the man a “black monkey” in Morrisons at Plymstock.

He had denied racially-aggravated threatening behaviour when he was asked to leave because he was carrying his puppy in his hoodie.

Roadworker Carrington admitted swearing, claiming that he had been pushed by the security guard.

Plymstock Morrisons
Plymstock Morrisons

But the jury unanimously found him guilty after two hours of deliberations at Plymouth Crown Court in June.

A judge said he was convicted on “overwhelming evidence”, including the word of victim Barrie Boubakarr and two store managers.

Carrington, of Parsons Close in Staddiscombe, was given a four-month prison sentence suspended for 18 months with 100 hours unpaid work.

He must also pay £1,000 towards prosecution costs and £115 victim surcharge.

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Woman used knife to clean her cannabis grinder

A woman caught with a knife in the street has avoided jail – after she told a judge she used it to clean her cannabis grinder.

Simone Gill, aged 40, was arrested with the blade and a small amount of the drug, a court heard only this week.

She never pulled out the knife and told police she used it to clean her cannabis grinder.

A closeup view of marijuana in a grinder
A closeup view of marijuana in a grinder

Gill faced an automatic six-month immediate jail sentence at Plymouth Crown Court because it was her second conviction for having a blade in the street.

But a judge suspended her prison sentence because of her personal circumstances in a probation report – which were not aired in court.

Recorder Paul Garlick told her: “You could go to prison but because of the circumstances outlined in the report I am taking an exceptionally lenient course.”

Gill, of Hastings Street, Stonehouse, pleaded guilty to possession of a bladed article on April 25.

Plymouth Crown Court generic
The case was heard at Plymouth Crown Court

She also admitted possession of about a third of a gram of a Class B drug.

She was handed a five-month prison sentence, suspended for two years. She must do 30 days of the service’s Rehabilitation Activity Requirement.

Gill was ordered to pay £115 victim surcharge and must surrender the drugs and knife.

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Man picked up knife so that no child would grab it in city centre

A man claimed he picked up a knife in a busy shopping street so that no child would grab it.

Daniel Evans, aged 35, said he found the kitchen knife in New George Street, Plymouth Crown Court heard.

Prolific offender Evans has five previous offences of possession of knives and other weapons.

He admitted possession of a bladed article in public without good reason or lawful authority on November 15 last year.

New George Street

Evans, of Knighton Road, St Judes, was in breach of a suspended sentence for possession of a prohibited item in prison – this time a kubotan, a rounded key fob which can be pressed into the body’s pressure point.

Judge James Townsend handed Evans a 146-day jail term but suspended it for 18 months.

He also extended the length of the earlier suspended sentence.

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Driver caught speeding at 101 mph blamed anger over parking ticket

One angry motorist must have come up with one of the worst excuses ever for speeding.

Clocked at 101mph, police said he claimed he was still angry about receiving a parking ticket.

The Devon and Cornwall force's dedicated No Excuses team said, when asked why they were travelling at such high speed, the motorist replied:  “I was annoyed because I got a parking ticket earlier, that I am going to contest...”

"That’s a new excuse for us!," commented police. "Let’s see what the magistrates thinks about it..."

It is not known what happened at court after he was stopped in January.

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