The Londoner: Love Island fever grips Westminster

In Today's Londoner: Love Island fever grips Westminster | DJ Jessie lets us in on her big Table Manners secret | Hungry David seeks his inner cat | Rees-Mogg's Dictionary
Mistaken identity: Amber Rudd
Getty Images
1 August 2019

The nation was gripped by last night’s final of Love Island — including our political class... though there were some crossed wires.

Winner Amber had beef with a chap called Michael but found happiness with a nice boy called Greg. Conservative chair James Cleverly tweeted a picture of DWP Secretary Amber Rudd and MP Greg Knight wishing them huge congratulations and asked: “Am I doing this right?” No, James! And he wasn’t the only one. The Londoner’s timeline was full of people demanding to know what Michael Gove had done this time. Alas, it was a case of mistaken identity: the Michael in question was Michael Griffiths, Amber’s ex. Meanwhile, others were hopeful about what the triumphant pairing of Amber Gill, a beauty therapist from Newcastle, and Greg O’Shea, a rugby player from Limerick, could do for politics.

The Irish embassy got with the programme, tweeting: “Well, we’re all about British-Irish relations...” — all the more cheeky given that new Prime Minister Boris Johnson hasn’t yet spoken to the Irish Taoiseach, Leo Varadkar.

Not shallow: Stella Creasy (Photo: Ollie Millington/Getty Images)
Getty Images

But it fell to Labour MP for Walthamstow Stella Creasy — a great fan of the show for many years — to capture the mood of many who were enamoured with another Islander called Ovie Soko, a professional basketball player known for his love of hats, his very calm and kind manner and being terribly handsome. There has been widespread dismay that Ovie wasn’t declared the winner all by himself and that he didn’t get together with Amber, as they became the best of friends and were both rather easy on the eye. Creasy told The Londoner late last night: “Why Amber and Ovie didn’t see they were made for each other I will never know... Ovie is a life lesson for all of us. Too often, what’s perfect is sat right in front of you. You just have to see past the headwear.”

Wise words from a wise woman.

Agoggy at Moggy

Effortlessly Superior : Jacob Rees-Mogg (Simon Dawson/Bloomberg via Getty Images)
Bloomberg via Getty Images

Word of Jacob Rees-Mogg’s style guide for staff has reminded some fellow Old Etonians of the Colour Test, the school’s tradition of bringing new boys up to speed on their knowledge of its rather weird lexicon.

Among the expressions were “Porny school” — which, mercifully, is a primary school in Eton High Street, and “goggy” — meaning quite diligent, too earnest in your studies and lacking in the effortless superiority and aloofness that famously characterises Old Etonians.

On the basis of that vocab test, The Londoner has ruled that Moggy is definitely not a goggy.

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For her guest-editorship of the September issue of Vogue, the Duchess of Sussex selected 15 women who are “Forces for Change”, including New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, climate activist Greta Thunberg and actor Jane Fonda. But does she have a favourite? Thunberg is the only one followed by her official Instagram account, @sussexroyal.

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Jon Ronson, filmmaker and author of The Men Who Stare At Goats, recalls to Paul McKenna’s podcast a story about comic Steve Martin pushing his talents to the limit at a gig by “doing some rollerskating or hula hooping”. After he came off stage, Martin turned to someone and sighed: “In the end... you use everything.”

Hungry David seeks his inner cat

Cat food: David Oyelowo (Photo: Jim Spellman/Getty Images)

David Oyelowo, last seen in the BBC’s lavish Les Misérables, is getting his teeth into a new role.

The actor will play the tiger in Channel 4’s production of Judith Kerr’s The Tiger Who Came To Tea, alongside Benedict Cumberbatch, Tamsin Greig and David Walliams.

“Who wouldn’t jump at the chance to play the iconic tiger from The Tiger Who Came to Tea?” Oyelowo tells The Bookseller.

“He’s a big cat of few words because he’s too busy eating but I relished all of the growling, chomping and slurping, which called on me to find my inner cat.”

SW1A

Could laywer Miriam González Durántez (below) be contemplating a shot at her husband Nick Clegg’s old Sheffield Hallam seat? Current MP Jared O’Mara is resigning in September. While Clegg is ensconced in his new Silicon Valley role at Facebook, Durántez is finishing her latest book on Spanish politics, titled Devuélveme el Poder, which roughly translates as ‘Give me Back the Power’. The Londoner suspects the lure of life in Palo Alto will prove too powerful.

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Brandon Lewis trilled that he was back at the Home Office today, alongside a photo of an identikit-looking office scene, which he called “the offie”. That’s where most of go when we need a drink, Brandon...

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Boris Johnson was pictured in a jacket yesterday that read “Prime Minister” on the label, prompting the BBC’s Nick Robinson to ask: “Did someone think he might forget?” Heidi Allen laments: “I’m trying to...”

DJ Jessie lets us in on her big Table Manners secret

Birds of a feather: Clara Amfo and Jessie Ware (Photo: Dave Bennet |Getty Images)
Dave Benett

Radio 1’s Clara Amfo and Jessie Ware DJed for a boisterous Monday night crowd last night at Grey Goose's summer terrace in Covent Garden’s East Piazza. Ware told The Londoner that picking guests for her smash-hit podcast, Table Manners, is pretty easy. “I just sit down with my mum and manager and we think about who we want round for dinner — I mean, who wouldn’t want an evening with Lennie and me?” Ware didn’t stay long after her set — she had business to attend to: discussing the Love Island final on WhatsApp with Jonathan Ross.

Real substance : Gurinder Chadha (Photo: Dave J Hogan/Dave Hogan/Getty Images for EONE)
Dave Hogan/Getty Images for EONE

Meanwhile, last night’s gala premiere of Blinded by the Light at the Curzon Mayfair left viewers misty eyed. Directed by Gurinder Chadha, who also made Bend it Like Beckham, the film is about a British Pakistani teenager in Luton who identifies with the lyrics of Bruce Springsteen. Kulvinder Ghir, who plays his disapproving father, told The Londoner: “Immigration is saving this country’s film industry.

“It’s where you get stories, like this film, that have substance and heart.”

Meanwhile, in Covent Garden, Radio 1’s Clara Amfo and Jessie Ware DJed for a boisterous Monday night crowd. Ware told The Londoner that picking guests for her smash-hit podcast, Table Manners, is pretty easy. “I just sit down with my mum and manager and we think about who we want round for dinner — I mean who wouldn’t want an evening with Lennie and I?” Ware didn’t stay long after her set — she had business to attend to: discussing the Love Island final on WhatsApp with Jonathan Ross.

Quote of the Day

Bye-Bye now: Yanis Varoufakis (Photo by Carsten Koall/Getty Images)

‘Best news of today for Jeremy and Labour. Let us not keep you, AC’ - Firebrand Yanis Varoufakis reckons it's good riddance to Alistair Campbell who vowed not to return to the Labour party.