'Please give me a reason to be Catholic': How sex abuse crisis is impacting faith in Nashville

Holly Meyer
The Tennessean

The Rev. Edward Steiner does not think the people sitting in the pews are looking for reasons to leave as the Catholic Church grapples with the recent wave of its clergy sexual abuse crisis

But Steiner, who leads the Cathedral of the Incarnation in Nashville, thinks some are looking for reasons to stay.

That became evident to him as members of the cathedral gathered for coffee and donuts on a recent Sunday after Mass. 

"A person that I’ve kind of got a great rapport with, but who's also very blunt and direct just simply said, 'Father, I don’t know that I can take anymore. Could you please give me a reason to be a Catholic?'" Steiner said. 

The parishioner is not alone in his questioning. 

People line up to receive communion during Palm Sunday Mass at Cathedral of the Incarnation Sunday, April 14, 2019, in Nashville, Tenn.

A recent Gallup poll found that 37 percent of U.S. Catholics say the recent news about sexual abuse of children in the church has led them to personally question whether they should remain Catholic.  

ACROSS TH:More Americans than ever are leaving the Catholic Church after the sex abuse scandal. Here's why.

The crisis has been grabbing headlines for the last eight months. In August, a Pennsylvania grand jury report laid out the "horrifying scale" of sexual abuse perpetrated by 300 priests on more than 1,000 identified victims over nearly 80 years.

Several dioceses across the U.S. have released the names of clergy accused of sexually abusing children. In Nashville, the diocese has named 21 clergy. Attorneys general in a number of states have opened their own investigations as critics of the church continue to call for independent reviews.   

"I don’t think there’s any question that the scandal has gotten people's attention and has had an impact," said Mark Silk, a professor of religion and public life at Trinity College in Connecticut. "You talk to anybody about the Catholic Church these days, Catholic or otherwise, and it’s like 'What the hell is happening?'"

GALLUP POLL:Should Catholics keep their faith? Sex abuse scandals prompt more to personally question ties to church, poll finds

GIVING HOPE TO OTHERS:Why this woman is going public for the first time about how a Nashville priest abused her 60 years ago

Bump in Catholics questioning remaining in church

The February poll showed a 15-point increase since Gallup last asked the question in 2002. Gallup surveyed Catholics in the wake of The Boston Globe's report on sexual abuse and cover-up by church leaders. At the time, 22 percent of U.S. Catholics said they were questioning their future with the church.

Vanderbilt divinity student Maria Michonski has questioned her commitment to the Catholic Church in the midst of the clergy sexual abuse crisis. photographed Friday, April 12, 2019 in Nashville, Tenn.

The sexual abuse crisis has contributed to Maria Michonski's own questioning.

"The sex abuse crisis I view as one very intense and prevalent facet of a broader power abuse issue in Catholicism," said Michonski, a 24-year-old Vanderbilt Divinity School student.  

She grew up in the church, went through the city's Catholic school system and even studied its theology during her undergraduate career. Michonski said her contentious relationship with the church began around that time. She came out as queer and started taking issue with how women were treated.

Michonski tried to leave. She stopped practicing for a bit and then joined an independent Catholic community for awhile. But Michonski realized her Catholicism is as much a part of her as her gender identity and sexuality. Today, Michonski attends Mass occasionally, but does not belong to a parish nor financially supports the diocese.    

"It’s not something that I can easily cut out from who I am, but at the same time I have very, very strong reservations about being aligned with the institutional Catholic Church and also a very strong sense of duty to do my best in my scholarship and my work to change that church for the better," Michonski said. 

The recent wave of the sex abuse crisis did not make Barney Zeng, 59, question his faith or his future in the Catholic Church.  

Zeng was born into a Catholic family, but his mother left the church when he was young.

"But it did make me pause," said Zeng, who rejoined the Catholic Church more than two years ago. "You absolutely have to pause and say, 'Hey, what is going on?'"

Barney Zeng poses for a photo before Palm Sunday Mass at Cathedral of the Incarnation Sunday, April 14, 2019, in Nashville, Tenn.

As he waited for the 11 a.m. Palm Sunday service to begin at the Cathedral of the Incarnation, Zeng explained that he had to reconcile that evil in the church with his love for it. 

"For me, it was a reconfirmation that I want to be in the church because there is a definite evil and it has to be rooted out and it has to be worked with," Zeng said.

It helped to have a close group of fellow Catholics to talk through the abuse crisis with in a comfortable space and to hear clergy, the bishop and the mother of a survivor speak about it. 

"That to me was inspirational and again the willingness to talk about it and not hide it, that’s what’s going to allow everybody to decide how to address it," Zeng said.

Changing on how one priest responds to his parish

For Steiner, the frank conversation with a parishioner over coffee and donuts helped him realize how he needed to be responding to people. 

Steiner shared with him and others listening at the table that he was angry, too.

"Once they realize, well the priests are being affected by this too, the people at that table reacted to that very well and it got some conversation going," Steiner said. "I said, 'I think bottom line we all have to be focused on what is our faith in?' If we're relying on the human institution of the church to help us, it’s never going to be right."

A week later, he dispensed from his normal preaching during Mass and reflected on why to even bother being Catholic.

"I talked about that being Catholic is far more than showing up at Mass and punching our ticket," Steiner said. "The response has been tremendous."

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Reach Holly Meyer at hmeyer@tennessean.com or 615-259-8241 and on Twitter @HollyAMeyer