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ATTICUS | ROLAND WHITE

The Tories shoot, Manchester City score

The Sunday Times

Labour held its Manchester seats, but the contest might be tighter next time. Bettingexpert, a gambling website, says Manchester City perform better under the Conservatives, while Manchester United prefer Labour (you might think this is possibly a coincidence, but it’s the season of goodwill, so let’s not quibble).

Under the Tories, City have managed an average sixth place but were a mid-table 12th under Labour. United frequently topped the league under Labour but dropped to an average third under the Conservatives. Bettingexpert says Tottenham flourish under Conservative rule, while Chelsea, Liverpool and Jeremy Corbyn’s Arsenal prefer Labour.

And what of my team, Queens Park Rangers? We’re quietly biding our time until the next Whig administration.

Fangs for the sex toy memories, Dracula
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